They Aren’t You, You Aren’t They

It often perplexes me when somebody compares my son to another child and uses that child to mark certain milestones and “norms”. As a mom, it can be irritating, because oftentimes that person does not know either children well enough to ascertain what’s normal and/or acceptable for my son. Then comes the overused chant: “All children are different”, blah, blah...

Though I am instinctively defensive of my son, I was never really the same way about myself until recently. I’d continuously compare other people’s achievements and lifestyles to my own and that would somehow affect how I set goals. But now, I really don’t believe that comparing oneself to another is useful at all. Of course, there are always exceptions and one example right off the bat is competitive athletes. Sorry, but kids who play sports will usually fall into this habit and compare themselves to others, whether they are trying to defend a first-string position or take a spot in an individual sport such as track or wrestling. But for things that aren’t competitive, why waste precious energy comparing yourself to someone else?

Successful people don’t compare themselves to other people, they focus on getting better. Once you’ve started chasing someone else’s achievements, you’ve already set a ceiling for yourself. Sure, I look to others for inspiration. I steal ideas and I think about what other people have been able to accomplish in the face of adversity. But I don’t compare myself to other people because it’s a toxic mentality that I’ve known all too well. Even in competitive sports, doing this can set you up for failure in the long run because if you are the “best” at your sport it won’t matter because the world in a huge, huge place. If you haven’t prepared your mind to set goals independently, when someone sets out to squash you, and DOES squash you, it will be difficult to recover.

Set quantifiable goals, so you can track who you were and who you want to be. Every day should be about getting better against who you were yesterday, not someone else. Look to those who are better than you as role models, not as competitors, because one day they might be able to help you out. And even though other people might compare you to someone else, don’t ever do it to yourself.

Savannah Steamer

Spot Athletics Intern